Paraphernalia

If you are lost, are you "searching"? Does one necessarily follow from the other?

Inspired not by existential angst but by the Jihari Window thing going round LJ - which I will definitely do as soon as I'm compos mentis. As I said to tamaranth, I'm such a sucker for this kind of thing - the only thing any better would be to actually be able to read people's thoughts. I don't know why I have such an urge to know what people actually think of me - when experience shows it only ends in tears :-)

But yes, as was pointed out there, is it really of any actual use when there almost no negative words supplied? Is the feeling that no one will do it if words like selfish, depressed, anxious were included? Do any of you OS nuts know how to tweak it?

So yes I'm back in rainy dark ol Scotland. Brr, it's cold, and conveniently, I caught a pouring cold from the guy next to me on the plane and began sneezing uncontrollably one hour out from Heathrow. Why, anyone would think I was allergic to the UK:-)My nose is already Rudolf red, though luckily my face is so brown you can hardly tell. Hah!

Back to celebrity ice dancing, conveniently scheduled to keep me awake, but with no Cpt Jack anymore. Sniff. Haven't they all come on though? I saw the US version in Florida and it wasn't nearly as good - Americans are so naturally glitzy there was none of the stiff likeableness of David Seaman, embarrassed at being seen by his mates going to ballet classes, or the Brit-grit trooperness of Bonnie Langford. Sometimes being British can be good!! (Who would have thought it!) And any min now I can go back and watch the Olympic pairs. Wow, it's just like being back in the 80s and the hey day of Torvill and Dean!!

So, back to life, back to reality. No reaction at all from work about my email before I left, announcing move to Southampton. Not from boss or boss's boss or even Hector, my referee and supposed mentor. Best Pal says no gossip about it going round. No one has told anyone, it seems. It's deeply weird. How am I meant to deal with this? Do I write a formal letter of resignation? Do I tell everyone? Do I send an email round? It feels like I died or something, and no one noticed. I realise that I've only ever properly left one job, and it was my first so no real need to mark its passing - two others I ran away from under a cloud, not daring to look back - it occurs to me that I am just about as bad at leaving jobs as leaviong relationships.. how are you meant to handle this stuff? I feel a need for Declaratory Gesture but I also feel (a) embarrassed (yes, v British) and (b) prone to hiding in case someone talks me out of it again.. (This is also going to be only my fifth ever Proper Job in 20 years of working. How weird is that for someone of my, er, esteemed years?)

OK more skating!!

Johari Window

OK I've done it!!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=surliminal

EDIT : PLEASE only do this if you know me IRL./..

I would still like to know if I can tweak the adjectives..

While I'm at it, film catch up

7. Underworld Evolution : incomprehensible tosh, but with great costumes and SFX. Think of it as a computer game where you don't get a joy stick.

8. North Country (on plane): Erin Brockovich kinda real-life movie about female miner (Charlize Theron, vg) fighting sexual harassment class action suit. Pretty good, in the time honoured tradition of such things (I cried in the right places), but nothing revolutionary. Frances Normand and the snowy scenery recall some of the style of Fargo.

9. Forty Year Old Virgin (also on plane) - much, much better than i thought it would be. Sympathetic comedy that genuinely gets to the root of what makes geeks tick and why they are surprisingly attractive to women (kind, thoughtful, non judgmental - "you're a grandmother? that's great!") Sweet hearted comedy, the last thing I expected from a gross out premise , rather as I was similarly surprised by There's Something About Mary. And yes, I did laugh out loud, repeatedly :-)

10. Legend of Zorro (yes, it was a really long flight): Average sequel, Banderas still in good form, but largely a follow-the-dots remake without the sending-itself-mildly-up zest of the first.

11. Serenity (return flight!) - re-watch, but it really was the film I most wanted to see of an unappealing selection of biopics (Capote, etc). Stands up well to re watching, even on itty bitty video screen. The bit where Mal asks Zoe if the ship will fly, and she says yes, bumpy, but like always , still tears me up. Clearer this time through that the film is about the choice between principles and pragmatism, belief versus instrumental selfishism. I also very much liked the black assassin's characterisation of the Alliance as not the "Evil Empire". And I still think Mr Universe's blonde reanimated zombie sex toy wife is meant to look like Buffy :-) even though no one else has ever mentioned this!!

ps and what does anyone think of brunette Spike in Smallville, huh???