Why I Don't Want To Go To Glastonbury
Jun. 25th, 2007 12:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
green_amber.. courtesy of the ever wonderful Charlie Brooker
"Once you're in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That's Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus."
Still after 2 bottles of wine, a roast chicken with a lemon up its bum, chocolate Gu and a persuasive![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catabolism, it didn't seem THAT bad an idea last night, as we watched Glastonbury on seemingly endless loop via BBC2, BBC3 and mysterious extra channels accessed only via red blob.
Glastonbury seems endlessly far away when you're living in Edinburgh, as`mythical as Atlantis. In Southampton, where actual people I actually know actually go, it begins to seem vaguely plausible. After an episode of Dr Who , Glastonbury naturally forms part of the same ambience - you can easily imagine a Dalek-Cybermen showdown happening on its bucolic fields. Maybe Paul Weller is secretly the Master from 1973.
"Why can't I take an RV, like people have in the USA?" I said. "You know - a big van you can sleep in. No mud. No sleeping on the ground. And my own toilet."
"That's a camper van," quoth Christina. "That's not RIGHT. They're not allowed. They take up too much room. And you're missing out on all the fun. No one I know would DREAM of being seen going to a festival in a camper van."
But then lo by the miracle of Google we discover that Glastonbury DOES have parking for camper vans. And even caravans.
"It'll be miles away" says Christina doomily.
"Oh come on ," I say, "at festivals everything's miles away anyway." Even I , who have only been to T in the Park, once (and that when it was practically next tosnotnose's back garden) know this much.
"You won't want to walk back to your camper van whenever you need the loo, " persists Christina, "it'll be miles from the bands."
"Hah!" I retort. "a, I'm very continent. b, I don't drink beer. c You'll all be BEGGING to use my toilet when the rain and mud starts!! I'll sell tickets!"
Christina acknowledges the possibility. But the social faux pas of being seen in a camper van is clearly worrying her.
"In Cornwall everyone has camper vans. But you can't take them to FESTIVALS. That's why we all have tents!!"
So come on oh hippy geeky pagan polyamorous FL. Would you be seen dead in a camper van at Glatonbury? If not why not? And why don't we have RVs? I'm fascinated now...
"Once you're in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That's Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus."
Still after 2 bottles of wine, a roast chicken with a lemon up its bum, chocolate Gu and a persuasive
catabolism, it didn't seem THAT bad an idea last night, as we watched Glastonbury on seemingly endless loop via BBC2, BBC3 and mysterious extra channels accessed only via red blob. Glastonbury seems endlessly far away when you're living in Edinburgh, as`mythical as Atlantis. In Southampton, where actual people I actually know actually go, it begins to seem vaguely plausible. After an episode of Dr Who , Glastonbury naturally forms part of the same ambience - you can easily imagine a Dalek-Cybermen showdown happening on its bucolic fields. Maybe Paul Weller is secretly the Master from 1973.
"Why can't I take an RV, like people have in the USA?" I said. "You know - a big van you can sleep in. No mud. No sleeping on the ground. And my own toilet."
"That's a camper van," quoth Christina. "That's not RIGHT. They're not allowed. They take up too much room. And you're missing out on all the fun. No one I know would DREAM of being seen going to a festival in a camper van."
But then lo by the miracle of Google we discover that Glastonbury DOES have parking for camper vans. And even caravans.
"It'll be miles away" says Christina doomily.
"Oh come on ," I say, "at festivals everything's miles away anyway." Even I , who have only been to T in the Park, once (and that when it was practically next to
snotnose's back garden) know this much."You won't want to walk back to your camper van whenever you need the loo, " persists Christina, "it'll be miles from the bands."
"Hah!" I retort. "a, I'm very continent. b, I don't drink beer. c You'll all be BEGGING to use my toilet when the rain and mud starts!! I'll sell tickets!"
Christina acknowledges the possibility. But the social faux pas of being seen in a camper van is clearly worrying her.
"In Cornwall everyone has camper vans. But you can't take them to FESTIVALS. That's why we all have tents!!"
So come on oh hippy geeky pagan polyamorous FL. Would you be seen dead in a camper van at Glatonbury? If not why not? And why don't we have RVs? I'm fascinated now...
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 12:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 12:46 pm (UTC)You come to Cropredy! You'd love it; it's a brilliant festival with a proper field (just the one). Jools Holland, Seth Lakeman, Richard Thompson, the Strawbs... and admittedly, a great deal of Fairport Convention. But it is the perfect festival for people who like to chill in a field, as you plonk your arse on a nice sunny bit of field and leave it there for the entire day, periodically topping up with beer or checking out the craft stalls.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 01:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 01:04 pm (UTC)I would like to go to a festival like you describe - small, sunny and manageable and maybe even try the dreaded Camping. We should Consult on this , some time before we start drinking :) When IS Cropready?
Saw Seth lakeman on TV last night -- he was ok if er a bit folkey! :-P
no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 01:33 pm (UTC)The other festival you might well like is Trowbridge -- we're not going this year (it's All a Bit Difficult -- this year it clashes with Teledu, but in general it clashes with Warwick FF which was my children's favourite festival ever and is vastly easier for us to get to than Trowbridge) but it is a lovely lovely festival with some good bands, heavily focused around folk/rock with a bit of blues, and has added Christina and Doug, always a good bet.
And of course then there's Cambridge, which Everyone You Know goes too. Too late to get a ticket now except on eBay -- but of course no need to camp, just stay with someone in Cambridge. I find Cambridge more and more crowded each year (though there are no more people at it -- it's just that unlike most other festivals, Cambridge has taken no serious action about the influx of camping chairs); if it wasn't for the fact that Everyone We Know goes, and that we have comfortable accommodation in a friend's house right by Cherry Hinton Hall, I'm not sure we'd choose that festival.
But you know, we're doing approx 7 festivals this summer, all different types. Bound to be something you'd enjoy. We're even taking a stray (Meriol Ameringen) with us to one; no doubt the first of many where we end up with extra kids.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 01:51 pm (UTC)Cambridge - usually too folky! but I might check it out.. I prefer going to Cambridge for Strawberry Fayre really.. (and it doesn't sell out!) Or maybe I 'll just go to Marcia's bbq! What's that Ely festival??
no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 03:10 pm (UTC)Ely FF is normaly the weekend after T&M's barbie, but this year it's the same weekend! So we are going to the festival but coming over to the barbie sometime on Saturday pm (which is where the plan has us collecting Meriol for a night's camping).
It is a small trad festival; one big tent (seating about 1000), one smaller tent (dance stage, workshops, or seating for a few hundred), one tiny tent (50 for small acts or singaround), one beer tent with session in the corner, one outdoor dance stage (morris displays), half a dozen each craft stalls and food tents, one kids area -- all of that on a football field. In addition there's a pile of morris in town on the Saturday. The first time I went I thought 'gosh, there *is* a lot of morris at this festival...' but I quite like it now. I suspect you would find it all rather unreconstructed.
I like Ely FF because it's on a football field so there is a pavilion with *hot showers and flush toilets*, and the whole site is very compact.
ElyFF
Date: 2007-06-25 10:38 pm (UTC)And they take camper vans!:-P
Re: ElyFF
Date: 2007-06-25 11:11 pm (UTC)Anyway, why not come! You can always bail and go off to Tim & Marcia's if you hate it.
Minimum camping gear -- if you don't hire campervan! -- pop up tent from Tesco (£25) is just fine for one person -- http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.200-4714.aspx .
Sleeping bag -- eg from Tesco again -- http://direct.tesco.com/search/default.aspx?search=sleeping+bag&confirm.x=0&confirm.y=0 don't get the absolute cheapest or you may freeze even in midsummer, but anything 'three season' should be fine.
Incredibly comfy camping mat -- the camper website raves about a mat called the Fat Airic --http://www.alpkit.com/shop/cart.php?target=product&product_id=16215&category_id=253 which is £37.50. Haven't tried but people say 'comfier and warmer than an airbed'.
Normally I'd also recommend a chair but honestly for Ely it's hardly worth it because there are chairs everywhere on site.
Or of course given that it's Ely you could always commute from Cambridge or even taxi! It's only a small festival so there are no queues or problems of that kind.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-25 02:44 pm (UTC)